This New Study Offers 7 Startling Revelations About Millennials (One Is a Little Too Much)
Are you sure you’re ready for this?
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Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
Millennials have been subject to more prejudice than any single member of the Trump family.
Or even all of them put together.
Millennials are said to be entitled, know-it-all-ish and barely even there.
Why, one CEO makes millennials take a snowflake test.
Could it be, though, that these put-upon beings, born into a world of constant screening and screaming, could be, I don't know, diligent or even hard-working?
A survey, sponsored by cloud accounting firm Freshbooks, has just slithered onto my screen like an inebriated moth who just can't eat any more clothing and demanded my attention.
It consisted of answers committed by 1,000 American freelancers -- representative, allegedly, of all the United States.
They were asked about their work habits and I will ask you to take a deep breath.
56 percent of millennials work more than 40 hours a week.
You might think this piffling. The surveyors insist it's 8 percent more than those aged 45 and over.
Do business lunches count as work?
20 percent of millennials claim they work more than 60 hours a week. I cannot confirm they've all been financed by the same six Silicon Valley venture capital companies.
A painfully fulsome 70 percent claim they've, gasp, worked on weekends.
63 percent have worked when they're, oh, sick. (Perhaps the same) dedicated 63 percent have worked on their birthdays. 48 percent have worked on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.
While their bosses, no doubt, partied.
A strange 27 percent have invoiced a customer while they were on a date. The millennial, not the customer.
Although, it would add a touching twist if the millennial was actually on a date with the customer and, half way through, remembered to invoice them.
39 percent actually admitted that they work overtime because they, oh, love their jobs.
I'd like you, however, to pause, take one more breath and focus on a particular 32 percent.
These hardy souls insist they've worked in the bathroom.
It's unrecorded whether they were seated or standing. It's unrecorded whether they were wet or dry. We don't know whether they'd already brushed their teeth or whether they put work before fresh breath.
Please, I think millennials come in the same varieties as do other humans. There's no more a millennial than there is an old person.
Still, those in the millennial generations have largely been served terribly by their elders, who have left them an Earth that's rotting and a set of values that's less than valuable.
Please, therefore, be stunned, startled or entirely unmoved by the idea that many millennials are utterly dedicated to providing the finest quality of work they can.
Or, at least, to answering surveys in a way that they think will put them in a very positive light.